Early in life, i set my eyes on goals that others had for me.
Achieving success on a path not mine caused great struggle and deep grief.
Days of trying to find my way when I felt so out of place.
Not seeing that what was missing was the beauty of God’s grace.
Too much time spent striving for approval when I needed my own love.
I realize now that what I sought could only be felt from the Lord above.
My heart completely shattered when others left me feeling abandoned.
Not realizing then what a precious gift lied in the freedom I’d been handed.
As time passed by, I started making choices that were my own.
And a path I could’ve never fathomed, God’s plan for me was shown.
The gifts I’d held so deep within were finally being exposed.
And when I felt most afraid, it was then that my inner strength arose.
I do not hold resentments for pain nor shame for past regrets.
For now I can see that all of my past was preparing me for a great test.
To be a loving, patient Mom who gives it all she has.
And share my vulnerabilities with the true love I’ve found, at last.
No matter what life throws our way, we all hold each other’s hearts.
And find a way to make it through even the toughest parts.
This kind of joy and peace cannot be sought or forced to appear.
It took the detours in our journeys to ultimately lead us here.
Enormous gratitude abounds, I thank God every day.
For giving me the pieces of my soul that were missing along the way.
If I could tell my younger self a secret to finding peace,
I’d tell her to be cautious with her catch and free with her release.
Those who belong in your circle somehow always find a way.
And being unconditionally loved beats an artificial circle any day.
In this new year, I vow to remain focused on hope and to have faith.
Remembering the gifts that I’ve received when patiently I’d wait.
The greatest challenge we often face is honoring the truth of our hearts.
While sharing our gifts with others, and giving our all, doing our part.
I’m learning that to guard my spirit is a necessary part of being alive,
Doing so doesn’t make me selfish…it’s something for which we should all strive.
Forgive me if my goals sound harsh, I’ve learned so much from pain.
I realize now it’s up to me to focus, and peace I must regain.
Giving is a blessing, a help to those who are in need.
But we must make sure first that our soul’s hunger we daily feed.
Moving forward, I will strive to love me more and preserve my energy.
Because at the end of the day, it’s my loved ones who deserve the best of me.