Freezing temperatures, hail, and sleet throughout a long winter (for Texas) couldn’t keep the beauty of this plant from returning. After feeling like life has dealt me a long winter, I am beyond grateful for the opportunity to bloom again.
Yesterday was finally the day. I arrived at the hospital for DIEP Flap Breast Reconstruction. For this procedure, fat is taken from the belly and used to make breast mounds. It took about 4 hours, thanks to my awesome doctor who works with a partner. Many of these procedures take 10-12 hours as the doctor chooses to work alone. When I had a mastectomy for breast cancer 5 years ago, my surgeon was able to keep my existing implants, which allowed me to take my time healing after treatment before deciding to have reconstruction. After surgery yesterday, I found out that one of those had bursted, therefore causing a very uneven set of “foobs” (term for fake boobs in the bc community). When I woke up, I could not wait to see the results. The first thing I noticed was that my chemo port was gone. I’d had to leave it in for this long “just in case the aggressive cancer returned”. For the past 4 years, I’ve had to return to the Cancer center once every six weeks to have it flushed. Talk about a constant reminder. I’m so very thankful that thing is gone! While I’ll never forget the experience of having breast cancer, I am now able to appreciate the changes that it has made in me, and move forward, using the strength and faith I’ve gained along this journey.
The next thing I noticed when I looked down was that I have CLEAVAGE! Then, further down, I saw a COMPLETELY FLAT BELLY! Wow!!! I am so very grateful to overcome this final hurdle. I can’t even begin to fathom what it will be like to go shopping for clothes after spending the past 4 years trying to cover up in oversized, flowy tops!
I was required to stay in bed for the remainder of the day & overnight. Today, I’ll be getting up and walking a few times & sitting in a chair. The only pain I feel so far is some pretty intense burning sensations at the hip-to-hip incision site, and a bit more of the same on my upper incision sites. Hoping that today, pain will be kept to a minimum.
One of the first thoughts I had was “why did I put this off so much longer than necessary?” Then, I was immediately able to reflect on the gratitude I feel for every step of the journey. Because I was able to accept my body, although it was quite disfigured for the past few years, I now have a deeper sense of self-love and compassion than I had ever thought possible. I now realize that the delay was necessary for me to learn to love myself, and confirm that although my body is not the same as it was when we began dating, my dear husband truly loves me for me. What better gift could I have received?
Wishing you all a beautiful day that’s filled with gratitude,acceptance, and the hope of a life that’s peaceful ahead.
I hope you know just how much I see
What you sacrifice daily for our family.
The continuous acts of kindness you willingly share
Don’t go unnoticed; you’re always there.
To help and encourage every step of the way.
And remind us “today is a brand new day”.
The selfless ways you show your heart,
Have blessed me from the very start.
A thankless job, sometimes it may be.
But those who know you can always see.
Though life gets hard and takes a toll,
Your strength has been your constant role.
The hardships of care-taking, not for the weak.
Sometimes the near future can seem quite bleak.
The load I see you carry each day
Would cause so many to run away.
But you soldier on, asking God to guide
Your steps forward along the ride.
However difficult it proves to be,
You keep on loving and guiding our family.
Today, I say a prayer of thanks and hope you know,
I’m grateful for your love and your beautiful soul.
Happy Easter, Momma.
Love you dearly.
When I think of the fact that Jesus was willing to sacrifice himself for me, so that my sins would be forgiven, and His mercy would forever be mine, I am overwhelmed with gratitude.
Knowing that I can lay down my guilt and shame over choices I made in this life is truly the greatest blessing I could ask for. So many years I spent carrying that baggage around before I finally understood that His forgiveness was always available;it was up to ME to accept it and let go of the weight I’d held on to for far too long.
The freedom that came with that acceptance is indescribable, and I will never take it for granted. It is my ultimate prayer that all can experience the wonders of a life free from all of that unnecessary weight.
May you all have a blessed and peaceful Easter weekend, knowing that He gave His life so that our lives, through the good and bad, may be peaceful ahead.