🌸Reclaiming Femininity With Reconstruction; Hope and Healing in Sight🌸

Yesterday was finally the day. I arrived at the hospital for DIEP Flap Breast Reconstruction. For this procedure, fat is taken from the belly and used to make breast mounds. It took about 4 hours, thanks to my awesome doctor who works with a partner. Many of these procedures take 10-12 hours as the doctor chooses to work alone. When I had a mastectomy for breast cancer 5 years ago, my surgeon was able to keep my existing implants, which allowed me to take my time healing after treatment before deciding to have reconstruction. After surgery yesterday, I found out that one of those had bursted, therefore causing a very uneven set of “foobs” (term for fake boobs in the bc community). When I woke up, I could not wait to see the results. The first thing I noticed was that my chemo port was gone. I’d had to leave it in for this long “just in case the aggressive cancer returned”. For the past 4 years, I’ve had to return to the Cancer center once every six weeks to have it flushed. Talk about a constant reminder. I’m so very thankful that thing is gone! While I’ll never forget the experience of having breast cancer, I am now able to appreciate the changes that it has made in me, and move forward, using the strength and faith I’ve gained along this journey.

The next thing I noticed when I looked down was that I have CLEAVAGE! Then, further down, I saw a COMPLETELY FLAT BELLY! Wow!!! I am so very grateful to overcome this final hurdle. I can’t even begin to fathom what it will be like to go shopping for clothes after spending the past 4 years trying to cover up in oversized, flowy tops!

I was required to stay in bed for the remainder of the day & overnight. Today, I’ll be getting up and walking a few times & sitting in a chair. The only pain I feel so far is some pretty intense burning sensations at the hip-to-hip incision site, and a bit more of the same on my upper incision sites. Hoping that today, pain will be kept to a minimum.

One of the first thoughts I had was “why did I put this off so much longer than necessary?” Then, I was immediately able to reflect on the gratitude I feel for every step of the journey. Because I was able to accept my body, although it was quite disfigured for the past few years, I now have a deeper sense of self-love and compassion than I had ever thought possible. I now realize that the delay was necessary for me to learn to love myself, and confirm that although my body is not the same as it was when we began dating, my dear husband truly loves me for me. What better gift could I have received?

Wishing you all a beautiful day that’s filled with gratitude,acceptance, and the hope of a life that’s peaceful ahead.

A Poem of Gratitude

Today, I am grateful…

For a sun that shines,

The peaceful times,

And a heart that knows.

Today, I am thankful…

For a partner in life,

Strength in the strife,

And a soul that grows.

Today, I appreciate…

Friends and family who care,

And that I can be there,

When life deals it’s blows.

Today, I remember…

The challenges faced,

The heart that raced,

And the power that rose.

Today, I look forward…

To chapters anew,

A story that’s true,

With hope that glows.

Today, I am prayerful…

That you find your peace,

With comfort and ease,

Painful chapters to close.

Today, I praise God…

Each day a new day,

Our hurt goes away,

Because His Son arose.

👁Help Me to See YOU in the Details☝🏼

Lord, I know I’m beyond blessed,

But sometimes this life puts me to the test.

I am so thankful for everything good in my life.

I just wish my to do list didn’t cause me such strife.

Help me to see You in the details,

Help me to focus when my sight fails,

Help me to give You the glory

For every single part of my story.

I know perfection’s not the goal,

But my mind plays a strong role

Adding so much pressure

Against others to measure.

Help me to see You in the details,

Help me to focus when my sight fails,

Help me to give You the glory

For every single part of my story.

I yearn for days that don’t wear me thin,

But this world’s ideals sometimes pull me in.

Adding more to my plate than needs to be,

In search of something that’s already within me.

Help me to see You in the details,

Help me to focus when my sight fails,

Help me to give You the glory

For every single part of my story.

I vow to make changes very soon

That will help me to be more in tune

With all that you want me to see

The power of Your love guiding me.

I want to see You in the details,

To regain focus when my sight fails,

I promise daily to give You the glory

For every single beautiful part of my story.

🎼Every Heart Filled With a Song🎶

Alive and ready for another day.

News filled with gloom, we’ve lost our way.

When they sky seems forever a shade of gray,

The only solution left…to pray.

For clarity and peace to rise,

For the Son’s bright hope to shine in our eyes.

For the past to stay where it belongs,

And every heart to be filled with a song.

Some days are harder, this is true.

But God is there, He believes in you.

He loves your soul, even when it’s blue.

Always starting each day anew.

For clarity and peace arise,

When the Son’s bright hope shines in our eyes.

The past shall stay where it belongs,

And every heart will be filled with a song.

Pick up your armor, no time for fright.

We can’t grow weary, the goal’s in sight.

Our bodies may signal fight or flight,

But our spirit will carry us in the way that’s right.

For clarity and peace will rise,

The Son’s bright hope will shine in our eyes.

The past behind us where it belongs,

And every heart is filled with a song.

Leave behind the heartache of this sad place.

Remember that God recognizes our face.

It’s not our speed that counts in the race,

But the daily blessings we embrace.

For clarity and peace will rise,

When we have the Son’s bright hope in our eyes.

The past left behind where it belongs,

And every heart shall be filled with a song.

🌸Not Unnoticed🌸

I hope you know just how much I see

What you sacrifice daily for our family.

The continuous acts of kindness you willingly share

Don’t go unnoticed; you’re always there.

To help and encourage every step of the way.

And remind us “today is a brand new day”.

The selfless ways you show your heart,

Have blessed me from the very start.

A thankless job, sometimes it may be.

But those who know you can always see.

Though life gets hard and takes a toll,

Your strength has been your constant role.

The hardships of care-taking, not for the weak.

Sometimes the near future can seem quite bleak.

The load I see you carry each day

Would cause so many to run away.

But you soldier on, asking God to guide

Your steps forward along the ride.

However difficult it proves to be,

You keep on loving and guiding our family.

Today, I say a prayer of thanks and hope you know,

I’m grateful for your love and your beautiful soul.

Happy Easter, Momma.

Love you dearly.